(Source: bucklybarnes, via emilieleikis)

My Story of Dan

Dan took another long sip from his foamy, expensive coffee. “This is terrible” he said through his burned tongue. “Anyways this story is about a bunch of anthropormorphic animals” 

"So what do they transform into?" asked the girl sitting opposite Dan.

"No, they don’t transform. They’re anthropomorphic. It’s something that acts human, but isn’t actually human.

“I think I’ve met some of those”

“No you haven’t. They don’t exist.”

“It describes some men I’ve met though”

“Uhuh?”

“Yeah”

Dan took a short gulp of coffee. “Right. So it’s just a bunch of animals that talk.”

“Sounds like the kids’ll love that. Sounds cute”

“No, it’s not for kids. There’s nothing cute about this story. It’s absolutely serious”, Dan took a pause for dramatic effect, “For adults”

“Uhuh?” said Mary.

“Yeah”

“What’s the story?”

Dan inhaled a breath which turns into a sip of more coffee.

That was five hours ago (For the full experience of this story. You should sit there for 5 hours)

Dan had been sitting in the coffee shop since Mary had left. “I won’t leave this place till I’ve thought up my story!” were the last words he spoke to her jokingly, ironically and moronically. Now he sat there with nothing accomplished except for the names for his animals

            Skippy

            Skup

            Skoopy?

and a litre of coffee running through his veins. “It’s not working, it needs something more. Just. What if I…”

Everyone in the coffee shop had become increasingly concerned over the past five hours. “Can you please go away??” begged the barista. Her earlier comments “Need a refill?” and “You haven’t paid” had slowly transformed to desperate pleas for him to leave.

“No I’m fine” Dan said, “I just need these characters to be more realistic. Yeah. They’re to flat, I need to make them more three-dimensional”

The barista slowly backed away to the safety of her foam latte and espresso machines. Dan kept on writing. Everything was becoming clear now: The story, the themes, the characters. It was all coming to life. His characters were beginning to seep off of the page! Dan could see Skippy, Skup and Skoopy before his eyes.

Dan was bewildered with excitement, “Wow, you’re real! All of you!”  

“Of course we are Dan!” Said Skoopy

“But how? Why?”

Skippy hopped into Dan’s arms, “We’re here to help you with your story!”

“That’s perfect!”

Skup trotted across the table, all thanks to your imagination.

“What’s that Skup” asked Dan

All thanks to your imagination.

Skoopy said, “We can’t here you. You’re not using quotation marks”

“Oh, sorry” said Skup, “I was trying to say all thanks to your imagination”

“You’re not much help” muttered Skippy.

Dan engrossed with enthusiasm leaped off his chair (Tragically dropping Skippy) “Well, where do we start?”

The barista stood, along with everyone else in the coffee shop, as far away from Dan as they could. A mother clutched her child. The boy spoke “why’s he talking to himself mommy?”

“He’s as loony as a horse, that’s why” said Anthony, a random customer.

“Actually, it’s loony as a loon I think” the mother said.

“That’s a bit insulting to loons isn’t it?” interjected a hipster who quickly went back to his iced Frappuccino.

“Shaddup” said the mother.

“We have to climb the gum drop mountain? Of course Skoopy!” said Dan as he danced across the tables. The group of people starred in silence. Not scarred necessarily, but curiously observing. The barista calmly reached for the phone and dialed for the police.

Dan toppled over several chairs. “Wait Skoopy!” Dan cried out. He chased his anthropomorphic creatures through the front window out onto the busy road.

Dan took a long sip. “Mm, this coffee is a bit cold, shouldn’t have let it sit” he said.

Sixty two hours had passed since he had thrown himself through the glass window. (Again, best to wait 72 hours)  “I’m feeling much better now. Really I do”

Mary gave Dan a concerned look. Like the concerned look a mother would give her child for not passing French in the seventh grade and she’s just finding out about it now and I get no TV for the next month ‘cause APPARENTLY I’m getting the wrong message from watching Law and Order: SVU.

Sorry, got a little side tracked… Mary looked at Dan with concern. “I’ve almost figured out my story now” Dan paused and took another sip, “Skup… is a girl! Isn’t that right Skup?

Dan turned to his left and tried reaching to Skup, but his hands were fastened around his torso. His momentum pushed him onto the soft cushioned floor.

“Isn’t that right Skup?”

“Dan, I have to leave now, but I’ll be back next week. Okay?”

“Skup. Come here. Come here Skup”

Mary got up and the attendants let her out of Dan’s room.

“Skup! Come back!” 

Sticky Notes!! A video by me and my friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE8vUBPeAiU

The Final of my series of piano lessons!

Free Piano Lesson 3

Free Piano Lesson 2

This is what I do now: Piano Lesson 1

et-sally:

Buster Keaton

et-sally:

Buster Keaton

(via fuckyeahbusterkeaton)

laughterkey:

fuckyeahcourtneyy:

This is the greatest knock knock joke in the history of all knock knocks jokes ever.

Still one of my favorite posts on Tumblr.

(Source: shittinggold, via madameerica)